What if...?

Bob Landers/Doug Champiny

If Caterpillar unilaterally instituted its much maligned two-tier plan across the corporation, all Cat employees would feel the pinch no matter of their position with the company. Maybe the headlines and accompanying article in the sports section one day will be as follows...

Caterpillar Winston Cup Jalopy?

   In a startling development showing the corporate desire to drive down costs, Caterpillar has decided to replace Ward Burton, currently second in Winston Cup points, and scrap the "CAT" Winston Cup car in favor of a new "two-tier" driver and a slightly refurbished Ford Pinto.
   "We feel we can remain competitive with these adjustments in our racing program," CEO Glen Barton said.
   Also, with the superior talents of our highly-trained management personnel filling in for the over-priced Pit Crew, we can cut more costs and deliver a bigger dividend to investors," Barton added.
    Problems exist though.

The new Cat racing car

    During a recent Winston Cup race, driver Steve Carl pitted because of a loose rear tire.   Carl lost valuable time as the "Tie-Guy" pit crew seemed to quarrel over who was at fault for the shoddy tire change instead of simply fixing the problem.
    Carl could not believe it.
    "I took this position to try and prove myself and show CAT that if they spent a little more money on the quality of my car and crew, we could win something," Carl said.   "But their cost-cutting is beginning to get to me.   Those cheap a------- even made me start using 85 octane gas, I couldn't believe it."
    Carl has since quit.   He is now driving for what he considers a "real" employer.
    Getting drivers to race the car has been a problem for CAT.   Three drivers have since come and gone on to better positions leaving the company scrambling to find anybody to keep the jalopy running.
    Luckily for CAT, which has incredibly sustained itself despite losing its heart 5 years ago, drivers are still coming forward and trying to help the corporation remain competitive.
    "Yes its true," Barton said recently, "our employees keep us going and allow us to build for tomorrow, they just won't be the ones profiting from it.   That's reserved for our shareholders and the board of directors."
Just a thought. Maybe some day.
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